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Archive for May, 2010

The Five Things I Lost When She Moved Out

May 28th, 2010 38 comments

In the months leading up to my ex-girlfriend moving in with me, my boy gave me one piece of advice I never forgot. He said, “Just know if you two break up, it’s not like a normal break up. When you break up with the girl you live with, it’s on a totally different level.”

Boy was he right.

Without getting into the back story of our break up (I’m saving that for another time), today I want to share all the things lost when my ex-girlfriend moved out of my place. Initially, we decided it would be best to live separately as a way to save the relationship, but soon after, we realized it was best to break up all together. Thing is, she still had the key to my apartment to come get her stuff as she pleased. To my surprise, these are the things she took that were ours.

Oh and just so we’re clear, all of these things have been replaced, and I’m only sharing this as a laugh. Lesson’s been learned, so don’t even try to give me one in the comments.

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Categories: dating, guys, Stupid Arguments, women Tags:

Poppin’ The Questions 5

May 27th, 2010 8 comments

I’m just going to get the shameless plug out of the way, and then jump into this edition of “Poppin’ The Questions 5” because I’m tired. Love y’all…

Don’t forget to check me out on June 3 at the Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event. This is going to be one of the hottest tickets in town. You get a  live show, concert, and after party for only $20 if you use my discount code “BACHELOR”. Most importantly, you get to see me do the thing I do on here, in person. Click here to purchase tickets Modern Day Matchmaker Live in NYC Event

Okay, now onto this week’s Poppin’ The Questions!

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The One I Know Versus The One I Don’t

May 26th, 2010 14 comments

I used to have this foolish rule when it came to breakups: No going back. Once a girl became my ex, there she remained for what was the rest of my life.

But then, at some point, I stopped mandating such a rule on myself and the girl. It wasn’t prompted by any one particular event. For me, the idea evolved out of style because of my maturation. I got older, got into more relationships, with more great women, and found not every break up didn’t mean the end forever, just the end for right now.

Now I’m here; single and actively dating girls I have dated before and girls I meet in the moment. The whole thing doesn’t have me confused. It’s not like I have to make a choice right away, and to keep it extra real, it’s not like any girl I’m dating is is going to choose me.  They are perhaps not thinking about things the way I am, still doesn’t make the pong game in my head between the girls I don’t know and the girls I do know any less intense.

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Categories: dating, guys, s#x, women Tags:

The Man Who Always Knew Exactly What To Say

May 25th, 2010 27 comments

They call me a smart ass. Of all the names I’ve been called throughout my life, “smart ass” has been the one most often used. But I never pay it any mind as a knock on me because usually it is said after I made the point I was trying to make and the point was usually correct.

Although, these days, I will admit, the whole “smart ass” tag and whether or not it’s an actual diss or a backhanded compliment has made me evaluate what it is about me that often provokes people to say such things. And over the last few months of taking the time to really get to the source of this whole “smart ass” thing I have finally come to one conclusion…

My problem is I always know exactly what to say.

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Categories: dating, game, guys, women Tags:

Stupid Arguments Vol. 2: Lord of The Rings Edition

May 24th, 2010 32 comments

No “Poppin’ The Questions” today. I have decided to only go with it once a week, and I’ll pick a day at random, so look out for it sometime next week.

In it’s place, I would like to continue my ongoing, sporadic series called “Stupid Arguments.” These posts are centered around exactly what the title suggests, the stupid arguments I’ve had in relationships and how they have spun out of control.

To be clear, I really do believe every argument is valid because even  when they seem so trivial, they probably have some deep seeded issue tied to them. But still, how we get to the real issues is often times the long way there, and usually comes from a place so silly and trivial, we almost can’t believe how it started. Here are two examples, courtesy of Lord of The Rings.

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Categories: c-section, dating, guys, Stupid Arguments, women Tags:

Poppin’ The Questions 4

May 21st, 2010 25 comments

Just so we’re clear, at no point do I claim to be an expert about anything that doesn’t concern my own life. I have not let any of the questions I get go to my head, and at no point would I tell a person to take what I say as absolute or law. But since some of you all ask, I enjoy answering and so begins another round of “Poppin’ The Questions”. I promise you, I don’t make these questions up, only the answers.

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The Six Signs We’re Catching Feelings For Our Booty Call

May 20th, 2010 29 comments

A few months ago, I wrote a piece for ESSENCE about casual sex relationships. I believe the piece was entitled, “The Truth About Jump-Offs” and to say it was controversial would be an understatement. I believe I wrote the piece in September or October, and to this day, people still ask me if they can read it (it was taken down two days after it posted due to its controversy) or if I still have a copy.

Now, I’m not going to re-write or re-publish it here, but I do remember the point of contention for many was how the article outlined a plan of sorts to keep people in that casual sex relationship box. Underlining that point was an effort to debunk the myth that a casual sex relationship is a rootless, baseless situation that gets two people nowhere.

If anyone has enough experience under their belt in the world of serious relationships and casual relationships, they have seen the line get murky, slowly recognizing they’re catching feelings. Speaking honestly, this has happened to me on a couple of occasions.. It happens to the best of us. That being said, here are six (instead of the usual five) signs it could be happening to you.

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Categories: dating, guys, s#x, women Tags:

The Women Hold Me Down, Man (Part 2)

May 19th, 2010 40 comments

Well, that took a little longer than I expected.

Last Monday, I started a new gig. I am the Senior Editor of Music and Culture for Russell Simmons’ website, Having been out of work since July 1, 2009 I can’t begin to explain what a relief this is. To put it in some context, the day before I got the call about getting the job, I received a letter from the state saying the extension for my unemployment was granted, but in 18 weeks, I had to figure something out.

So yeah, that whole, “He may not come when you call, but He’s always on time” thing? Proven true again.

Of course, with the new gig, I have had to adjust to a new schedule and routine, but I’m also feeling a tad bit reflective about my time spent as a man out of work. As someone once told me, back when I had a gig, nothing tests a man’s mettle more than when he’s either fired, laid off, or out of work. And as true as that was for me, I came to another startling revelation but not about me. It was about the women.

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Categories: dating, guys, unemployment, women, Work Tags:

Man To The Next Man

May 18th, 2010 58 comments

Because I have never been treated badly, never been blatantly disrespected by a woman with whom I was in a relationship, I always wished them the best when our journey ended. Even if we couldn’t remain friends, I care about them and their happiness.

So to the men out there who got next on my girl, here’s something I’d like to say to you. Man to man.

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Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

Poppin’ The Questions 3

May 17th, 2010 10 comments

Thanks for all the questions, folks! Keep them coming, as I’m going to continue to do this every Monday or Friday until the The Million Dollar Matchmaker event goes down on June 3 (buy your tickets through here and enter the code “bachelor” for your discount).

Remember what this is about. Just giving you all a better idea of who I am, prompted by your questions. I appreciate all of you supporting me in the comments with last week’s installment. I’ll continue to do this twice a week, then once the event is done, probably go to once a week, every Friday. Tomorrow, I’ll give you all the regular posts for those who still aren’t feeling the “Questions” installments. Now, here we go, Poppin’ The Questions 3.

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Categories: c-section, poppin' questions Tags: