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Advice From Hot Girls: How Do I Tell A Girl She’s Great In Bed?

December 14th, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

I’m sorry for the long delay, folks. Today I’ve been trying to wrap up things at the office. Only two more days before I head back home to California for the holidays, and I have barely anytime to do anything other than handle this work biz. So please, forgive me?


Now, for today’s post, considering it’s so late in the day, I wanted to think of something quick. So here it is, just a quick question for all my female readers on behalf of more than a few male readers.


For those who are familiar with “Advice From Hot Girls”, you will recall my first installment asked women how can a man tell a woman she’s bad in bed. The answers were very helpful, and I definitely took not of the best ones. But now I have another dilemma.

Apparently, most women think they’re great in bed, so when a man tells a woman how great she was, they almost have this “Duh” like reaction to it. It’s as if they already knew they were great in bed, because all other women are great in bed. Plus men enjoy sex all the same, so really when a man compliments a woman on her bedroom prowess, he’s just being nice. He means it, but he says it to every girl.

First of all, I don’t compliment every girl I’ve slept with because not every girl I’ve slept with is good in bed. Some women suck, as I have previous noted, and yet, for whatever reason, women still don’t quite understand this. They don’t understand if a man says a woman blew his mind in the bedroom, he really means that, he’s just not saying that because it sounds good.

Second of all, women are still puzzled by this idea that there is such a thing as bad sex, which leads me to believe they think to a man all sex is good, and this is why whenever a man tells they were great in bed it doesn’t do to their ego what it does to a man when a woman pays him the same compliment. Get all that? What I’m basically saying is, if women, like men, knew all sex wasn’t created equal, they would appreciate a compliment given to them that much more.

So, female readers, please, tell me, what kind of things flattering things can a man say to a woman about her bedroom skills in a way she can appreciate. As a matter of fact, what are some memorable compliments you ladies remember? Please, share. And I would like quotable compliments please, don’t try to be all smart and say, “You know what he can do to show me I’m good in bed, he can stay faithful!” I’ll erase comments like those quickly.


The Process: I have a cold, again, and so I drank a Coldbuster from Jamba Juice, that’s not breaking the no-carb diet is it?

THE SIXTEENTH EDITION of the POPPIN’ QUESTIONS PODCAST! Listen here, please! Also, if you’d like to submit a question for consideration in the seventeenth edition of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast, click here.

Categories: Advice From Hot Girls Tags:
  • Kae-Toya

    When the time is right, I believe you will know what to say.

  • Jess

    I agree with the comment below mine. When the time is right, you’ll know. However, for me personally, specificity is key in any situation, sexual or non-sexual. If a man tells me what, exactly, he thought I was good at, I’m more likely to pay attention.

  • Jess

    Sorry, I meant above*

  • scout

    The one time that I honestly believed it was when he called me from work the next day to say that he couldn’t stop thinking about “last night.” I can’t go into detail because I don’t remember that convo word for word, lol, but I think it was more his tone and how it all seemed quite uncharacteristic of him that convinced me. He was sort of gushing. You had to be there.

  • Scarlett D

    When he really liked it, I’ve always been able to tell through his eyes. He didn’t have to say a word…although all noises are always appreciated.

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  • LivCakes

    I was told that I am what John Mayer called Jessie, sexual napalm. Dude told me that I make him wanna quit everything in life that counts, lol… I was absolutely flattered 😉

  • Rogue

    I don’t remember how it went exactly but it started with…”don’t let this go to your head but…” Hmm now that I think about it I got that a few times. I just took it as a job well done since my motto is go hard or go home. (all possible puns are not intended.) One shouldn’t rest on yesterday’s laurels.

  • SLauren

    Tell her outside of the bedroom, like in a phone conversation the next day or a few days later when you aren’t even talking about sex. “Baby, I just gotta tell you…you know the other night… damn, you are amazing….like, I don’t even know…. damn…::smh::”

    Guarantee she’ll appreciate that.

  • Holly Hedge

    He has said several time “Now, this sh*t don’t make no sense!”, while in the act. I love that compliment and what better timing than while having sex? It turns me on even more.

  • Katina Denosi

    There aren’t any specific words he can really say that make me feel awesome. I go by facial expressions, reactions, his energy level after the fact. Normally sucking on his thumb, calling out for God or his mother, or not wanting to let me leave are usually key indicators that he enjoyed himself. “You’re the best,” comes a dime a dozen. Show me how much you enjoyed yourself.

  • Cookie

    How about something simple like, “I love it when you _____________________”? I mean, the point is not to run down a grocery list of EVERYTHING she does that you like in bed like you’re completing a survey, but to acknowledge a couple of your favorite things to ensure that she keeps doing them.

  • Jen

    I had a guy tell me he was the best he ever had, and then years later, and several partners later, he told me I was still the best he’s ever had. THAT was a compliment.

  • Kayla

    It’s simple when he keeps coming back for more.

  • Honey

    Ladies where is the detail in your advice to Jozen?
    Reccomendations that work for me:
    “I have never had a women pay that much attention to my head, thighs, balls.”
    “I love the way your skin feels against mine.”
    “Blank position was amazing, awesome, unforgetable, etc. with u.”
    “U overload my sensory’s when u do _____.”
    “I did not think _____could feel so good baby. Thank u for introducing me to something new.”
    “U the best always works if it’s sincere.” suggest communicating 4-24hrs after the act so it doesn’t come across as heat of the moment compliment.
    “I love how u r so in tune with sexual needs & wants with out me saying a word.”

  • Brit

    SLauren got it 100%!!!
    or, I take it as a compliment if he lets go some good moans&groans

  • Esquin

    Former long-distance fling thing… “You sure you don’t want to move out here?”

  • Nadia

    Lol no one answered the Jamba Juice question- yeah it has some carbs and sugar too

    You could pull a Kanye: “Baby, that right there can drive a sane man bizerk!” lol

  • L’z

    Honestly, I think much can be said indirectly. For example, I gave my partner a dominant blow job recently and he came harder than he’s ever came (with me). After he ejaculated, he just lied there breathless, repeating “I need a minute” (kids dripping everywhere) until he got himself together. Or a few months ago during another blow job, he was like, “damn, you’re making my toes curl,” LMAO! Things like that drive the point home. I like having my name called too. Something about hearing “Ooooh, Lauren” does it for me, lol.

  • L’z

    Also, I don’t know about the Jamba Juice, but you might want to get some Echinacea Goldenseal in your system. It works wonders.

  • L’z

    Not wanting you to leave is definitely a compliment. I agree.

  • Mrs.Brightside

    Just a couple of things i’ve been told that made me stick my chest out:

    I’m not a cheater but if I were in another relationship I would consider coming back to you.
    I only cum like that with you.
    You put me to sleep in a good way.
    Don’t forget what you just did. We will have to try that again when when me and mini me wake up.
    Where did you learn that from?
    Last but not least; What do I need to do to keep from getting cut off from that?

  • Adrina

    had a guy turn over and curl up in the fetal position on more than one occasion after reaching in my “cookie Jar” that was pretty funny, and made me feel like it was a job well done. I was talking to someone I used to be bed buddies with about this same topic, and he said “how do you know you’re good in bed?” I said, “I dont get any complaints, you’ve had it what do you think?” His Response: “its INCREDIBLE” ’nuff said 🙂

  • maxfab

    To be honest, even though I am amazing in bed hahaha, I can’t remember anything a man has said to me that made me say “okay yes this person really thinks I’m great in bed”. What I do remember however is the time I slept with a man for the first time and immediately after it was over he turned to me and said “were you spoiled as a child”? Which I took to mean that he didn’t think I was so great.

  • CourtyJ

    The unspoken compliments are the heavy-breathing and the heavy silence immediately after. The way I’m held afterward and when I go to get up (for the bathroom, drink of water, etc) I’m held down and not allowed to move. Grand statement to me because it’s like he’s saying don’t leave. This moment is too perfect and too good to interrupt.
    The hand around my waist while sleeping is a sign he wants me close. Whether to have easy access to me as soon as he wakes up to do it again or kind of like the “fetal position” he jsut wants the comfort of me being nearby since I’ve taken all his energy. If not immediately going to bed, it’s the analysis of the freckles on my face and the contour of my nose and jaw-line or the hands tracing the curves all over my body. Basically, the fascination with all of me afterward lets me know he thinks I’m amazing in bed. Breakfast in the AM doesn’t hurt either (lol) and the funniest one is the attempt to change the rest of my plans the next day so we can stay in bed all day.

    Verbally though, I’ve heard:

    “That was an out of body experience. I can’t explain it, but I reached a new level. I was intimate with someone for the first time.”

    “I’ll only say this once: Whatever you want, you can have, if you ask immediately after doing that to me. Wow”

    “Your amazing. Doesn’t make sense. Where did you learn to do all that? Wait, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know how it feels to be jealous.”

    “I’m stuck.”

    I could tell a few more but… I’m kind of “bothered” by thinking about it. (hehe)
    Hope I gave some insight though!


  • sugahoneyicedtea

    I like the bewildered looks..because I do look fairly young for my age(I’m 25 but often 18 y.o. or younger try to talk to me) so I’m often the complements I’ve been given are interesting, like “this sh*t so good it should come with a warning label” and most recently I’ve been told “Man. I wasn’t ready, that p*ssy caught me off guard”

  • Queendaneen

    I am new to Until I Get Married… I simply appreciate this post. I was given a compliment by a partner soon after my marriage ended and it was a huge confidence builder because my husband was my 1st and only up to that point. But some years later, I was recently complimented by a partner I reunited with who repeated a few times, “Man, that was really great” during the afterglow. I, believing that men think all sex is great, made faces in the dark (duh-like) and agreed it was. And I wasn’t just saying it was to say it was…it REALLY was!
    My point is that I’m not sure I believed I was always great because now looking back, it could’ve been much better with my ex because I now know what better sex is (thank God he’s my ex LOL!) I now know I’m good and will take their compliments seriously and no longer think men think all sex is great.

  • Anonymous

    The first time my man entered me he made a hella confused face and said “This shouldn’t feel this good!”. LOL. I will never forget that. After like 5 months in he mentioned that sex with me keeps getting better and better with time compared to his ex where it got worse and worse with time.

    I know he thinks I am good in bed also cause he will text me the next day with something like “2 words… Last night” … He keeps it simple, but always gives me subtle ques that he is still thinking about last night’s action on the next day. It is really cute and always puts a smile on my face.

  • Cookieb20022003

    I think the not wanting you to leave or move…just holding on ..lets you know…and the look in his eyes..I am a very sexual being so i can go hard..which tend s to lead to getting Our they want to call you all day to make sure your not giving it to anyone else.
    I am learning who hold back a lil until i get to know a guy..It’s hard because I love sex…it’s just my nature. Anywho a few guys have said that i am not normal..and one said he feels I put roots on him.

  • sexyC

    The first time I realized in college was when my ex boyfriend had an asthma attack… Since then another guy had to get his pump too. No words can come close to actually taking someone’s breath away. lol.

  • Anonymous

    One ex couldn’t move or speak. A tear just rolled down his face. I think that’s a good sign.

    Another ex just outright told me I was the best he ever had. I figured he was already getting it, so I don’t know why he would like and say that it it wasn’t true.

    Per the other ladies’ comments a speechless man is another good sign.

    If you want to tell a woman she’s great, just say it. Maybe say it the next day over a meal or something so she knows you’re not just fishing for something to say while you climax.

  • Anonymous

    Proofreading is key. I meant to say “I don’t know why he would lie and say it was true if it wasn’t.”

  • Yvette10

    I was recently told by a former FWB that I have the prettiest Playboy Box of all the women he’s ever been with_ and I appreciated that compliment. I think he was a little shy about sharing that with me but I’m glad he did.

  • Yvette10

    I had another former FWB call me the day after we’d been together to tell me I had him wide open. He’s made similar comments after other performances that I believe were sincere. I try to show appreciation for the compliments and reciprocate in a way that’s special to that person. Every man does something well…well, that’s been my experience, so you have to appreciate what that thing is for each.

  • DivaliciousDC

    Well, my apologies if any of the following is too graphic but a few comments that I’ve been told were “Omg, I’ve never *** so fast from ****” (I didn’t clock it but it was probably a minute or so) He’s mentioned it several times since it happened (over 3 yrs ago) and he is still convinced that we are going to get married one day lol. Another one would be, “You have the best-feelin ***** i’ve ever been in and considerin’ it was with the condom on, i could only imagine otherwise.” Most recently I was told “Seriously, some men never get to experience ecstasy like that! WTFFFFFFF! This ish is craaaazy!” Oh and last but not least…”Being inside you is like a slice of heaven. I want to live inside you.”

    Definitely very flattering =)

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