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Archive for February, 2012

Five Reasons You May Want To Consider Your Single Friend’s Advice

February 22nd, 2012 12 comments

When it comes to giving relationship advice, the question of credibility, who has it and who doesn’t, will eventually come up. Most of us have a core group of friends who we can talk to about anything we’re going through. How we choose which friend to talk to is based on a myriad of factors. Sometimes they already went through exactly the same situation through which we went. Other times, they’re just more comforting than the others, and we know they’ll tell us what we want to hear.

Whatever factors we use to determine who we seek out for advice on relationships is valid, but there is one reason people choose not to go to their friends about a situation and it drives me crazy:

Their friends are single.

Below are five reasons why the next time you’re in need of some relationship advice or some dating directions, your single friend may be the best person to talk to.

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Categories: Five Things Tags: , , ,

Second Grade Valentine’s Day Story

February 14th, 2012 12 comments

For Valentine’s Day, every student spent the morning making a heart shaped folder out of paper, then taping it over the side of their desk. After lunch recess, everyone got out their cards they made at home and dropped them in each other’s heart shaped folder. When I saw her drop a card into mine, it took every ounce of restraint I could muster for me to stop what I was doing, dig through my pile of cards, and take hers out.

But I finished handing my cards out, then along with the rest of the class, sat down in my seat. Our teacher said opening could commence, and the sound of second grade hands tearing open paper and crunching stale, chalky Valentine’s Day candy filled the room. I saw hers, pulled it out and set it aside, deciding I would open it last.

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Categories: Stories Tags: ,

Sometimes Nothing Hurts More Than Freedom

February 13th, 2012 1 comment

For those who are interested, not busy, and plan to be in NYC on Saturday evening, February 18, yours truly is moderating a discussion at Bamcinématek New Voices In Black Cinema film festival at BAM Rose Cinemas in downtown Brooklyn. The Q&A is about the independent film, “Single Hills,” and takes place after the film’s screening. I will be talking to the film’s director Wilkie Cornelius and the two actors, Krystal Hill and J. Kyle Manzay.

When I was asked to participate in this event, I was actually given a list of films from which to choose. Based on what I was given, Single Hills stood out more than the others largely because of a quote featured in the trailer, which I have used as the title of today’s post. As you will see in the trailer, the plot is pretty straightforward: Man and woman love each other, but man is not quite ready to commit to woman.

This is a situation with which everyone is familiar. And yet, it never gets old, at least, not to me. Even when I know what I want in another person, there’s always a sense of doubt, and second-guessing involved. I’m also fascinated by other people’s trepidation. Why do we not settle down when we’re in love? Why choose solitude over company? Sometimes the answers are simple, sometimes they’re complex, but they are always, almost always, personal and interesting.

Below, the trailer for Single Hills. I’m pretty sure most anyone who watches will say it reminds them of something they went through before, and even if that’s not what you say, come join me, the cast, and other movie buffs this Saturday. A good movie, a good conversation, can only mean good times for all who come.

Click here for more information on the film, purchasing tickets, and for those who don’t know the way to BAM Rose Cinemas, directions.

Poppin’ Questions Podcast 33

February 10th, 2012 No comments

It’s a brand new episode of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast, and Jozen received some great questions this week.

One reader wants to know how it makes her look if she starts sleeping with a partner from the past after being celibate for five years.

After getting out of a long-term relationship, a reader is ready to date again, but she’s not getting approached as frequently and wants to know why.

What to do when you see a best friend you had feelings for get into a relationship with someone else?

A woman is in love with the best friend of a man she used to date, what do they do?

And why it’s important to be friends after the relationship is over.

Whew, that’s a lot for 30 minutes, but it’s all here people! Enjoy the show!

Want to send a question for consideration on a future episode of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast? Of course you do, so click here. If you prefer, email a question to

Categories: Poppin' Questions Podcast Tags:

Five Reasons I Want A Woman Who Can Whoop A**

February 9th, 2012 5 comments

So as part of my ongoing efforts to stay in shape, I decided to enroll in some mixed martial arts classes. (Those who don’t know what mixed martials arts is, Google is your friend.) Though a major reason for my enrollment is to challenge myself while picking up a new skill set, I am also doing it to make my lady feel safer.

That’s right. This, like most other things men do, is for the lady in my life. I know MMA does not guarantee I win any and every fight I get into on the street and I’m still all about non-violence. But if my woman sees me undergoing all this training, I imagine she feels a little safer knowing I know how to take a punch, defend a punch, and throw one myself.

As I prepare to undergo training for my benefit and her safety, I had an epiphany. When I began to get in shape, my desire for women doing the same increased. Now as I prepare to learn how to deflect kicks and choke someone out like a master, I realize a woman who knows how to do the same might be . I know this may seem like a strange want, and not a very feminine one at that, but here are five reasons I would appreciate a Laila Ali or Gina Carano in my life.

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SPONSORED POST: The Art Of Sending Flowers On Valentine’s Day

February 8th, 2012 Comments off

For Valentine’s Day, she didn’t want flowers, that would be way too easy.

She wanted flowers. Delivered. To her job.

She wasn’t subtle about it at all either. I knew where she worked, the floor on which she worked, there was no excuse. And in her defense, she wasn’t asking the world, she just wanted to show everyone she had the greatest boyfriend in the world, and to prove it, he got her flowers delivered on Valentine’s Day.

The company I went through to arrange the delivery will go unnamed and should I ever see one of the executives on the street, we’re fighting right then and there. They totally botched the delivery, and even though I bought my girlfriend at the time a dozen roses to give her when we met for dinner, and she accepted them with a smile on her face, the damage was done. She didn’t get her flowers delivered on Valentine’s Day and I didn’t get any that night.

I vowed never to get flowers delivered for a woman again. The system was flawed and I learned my lesson the hard way. Fool me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, I won’t get any again. It’s too risky! So now whenever Valentine’s Day is creeping up, I tell my lady, you may get flowers, you may even get your favorite flowers. You will never get flowers delivered to your office. The only man delivering you flowers will be me, which is not bad considering I kind of look like the type of guy who delivers flowers.

As you can imagine, this usually doesn’t go well. She insists she should not be the fall girl for a past florists mistake, and I totally get that, but still. I’m not getting flowers delivered. The fear of them never getting to their destination until the next day (which is what happened in my case) is too overwhelming.

But should I ever get over my fear of incompetent florists, I most surely won’t go with one of the big name companies we see advertising on television every year around this time. Since I live in New York City, I’m going to go with a local service by the name of Ode à la Rose, a service I hope spreads across the country and doesn’t lose itself along the way.

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Anatomy Of A Scene: Getting Stood Up At The Altar

February 3rd, 2012 17 comments

One of my friends threw up this classic YouTube clip from A Different World on Facebook today.

On a sitcom with so many memorable episodes, this remains one of my all time favorite; right up there with the two part episode where the gang goes on Spring Break and the girls meet those drug dealers, but I’ll post about that one another time.

The first time I saw this episode was the first time I saw anything like this happen on screen. Two people in the middle of getting married, when out of nowhere comes the man the bride should’ve been marrying all along. I didn’t think what Dwayne did was romantic so much as I thought it gutsy. In front of a church full of people on what is supposed to be the happiest day of the bride and groom’s life, Dwayne stops the wedding. Not only does he stop it, he asks Whitley to marry him, right there. And to top it all of, to show he has absolutely no regard for other people’s lives and very little for his own, he does it all in a peach suit.

A peach suit!

I have watched this scene too many times to count, and over the years, my attention has shifted from Dwayne. Whether it’s fear of the unknown or me just wising up, when I watch now, I focus on some of the other key people in the scene. They are as follows:

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Poppin’ Questions Podcast Episode 32

February 1st, 2012 No comments

The voice is back, ladies and gentlemen! After a long hiatus, the Poppin’ Questions Podcast has returned. Five questions sent in by readers, five answers given by me. Really simple. Listen, enjoy and if you want a question considered for a future episode of the Poppin’ Questions Podcast, click this and ask away, download or subscribe to the podcast via this link!