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Five Reasons You May Want To Consider Your Single Friend’s Advice

February 22nd, 2012 Leave a comment Go to comments

When it comes to giving relationship advice, the question of credibility, who has it and who doesn’t, will eventually come up. Most of us have a core group of friends who we can talk to about anything we’re going through. How we choose which friend to talk to is based on a myriad of factors. Sometimes they already went through exactly the same situation through which we went. Other times, they’re just more comforting than the others, and we know they’ll tell us what we want to hear.

Whatever factors we use to determine who we seek out for advice on relationships is valid, but there is one reason people choose not to go to their friends about a situation and it drives me crazy:

Their friends are single.

Below are five reasons why the next time you’re in need of some relationship advice or some dating directions, your single friend may be the best person to talk to.

They May Not Know About Relationships But They Know You
There’s no such thing as a relationship expert, but it’s undeniable some friends are experts on who we are as individuals. When I need to talk to someone about a relationship I’m going through, I don’t care about their relationship status with anyone but me. One of my best friends in the world is one of the singlest guys in the world (yes, singlest), and I always go to him when I need some guidance about a woman I’m seeing. Why? He knows me and all the advice he gives is based on what he knows about about me.

They’re Single For A Reason
I’ve always said this: Couples are not dumb, single people are smart. Your single friend who doesn’t get into a relationship every season or hasn’t been in one in some time may actually be doing something right. Consider that the next time you think they have nothing valuable to say about your relationship.

They Saw Everything
Consider the friend may be single, but they saw enough interaction between you and your partner to know exactly what they’re talking about.

They Care About Your Happiness; That’s It
Our best friends just want to see us happy and help us avoid anything that can make us unhappy. They say misery loves company, but no one loves miserable company. If your single friend is advising you to leave and move on, they’re not doing it because they want you to be single, they’re doing it because they want you to be happy.

Your Friends In Relationships Are Idiots
Just a thought…

Speaking of advice, if you want my friendly version of it to be considered for a future episode of The Poppin’ Questions Podcast, click here to ask me anonymously.

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  • Cristine ♥

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Every single person isn’t an idiot, and just because you are in a relationship does not make you an expert on mine. And not everyone is single because they suck at relationships, there are people who {get this} choose to be single!
    There’s so much I love about this post.

  • Sir Fariku

    I think I agree with you, sometimes the most objective person is your single friend. Sometimes your friends who are in relationships want you to stay in one or take their advice so they have people to double date with

  • guest

    i am my own my blessing because i know myself better among all to not take advice from others. Only i can make myself happy to know what’s right and wrong. 

  • Polo

     Thank you for your suggestion!

  • Spinsterlicious

    Love it! And I might add “your single friend might understand relationships better because s/he has more relationship experience.”
    -The Spinsterlicious Life

  • Lil_mocha84

    This is a refreshing article/post you wrote today thank you Jozen!  I am SO tired of seeing the same old posts and quotes bashing single people who give their advice or input on relationships JUST on the merit of them being single. Just because someone is single does not mean their input should be any less valued than someone who is not, you should be weary of taking advice from anyone regardless of if they are single, married, or in a relationship. I don’t know when being single became equivalent to ignorance or unintelligence….ok I’m going to stop before I start ranting for real lol

  • 30thoughts

    I especially agree with “They Care About Your Happiness; That’s It”.  Besides, relationships aren’t rocket science.  They are simply complicated because we hear what we want to hear, and see what we want to see and hope for the best, when we know good and well what we need to do.

  • Talia Taylor

    i am the single friend you speak of who gives advice with only the best of intentions. however, when i’m solicited a few days before my major lady part goes into an emotional frenzy, i’m bound to recite the lyrics to a lil’ kim song and call it food for thought.

  • Yaa Yaa

    Thank you for this post! Some people are perpetual daters; I am perpetually single. But I have learned so much from my friend’s relationships. A third objective party sometimes gives the best advice.

  • Bc6801

    Amen to that. People who think/say your single friends want to you to be single and should give advice on relationships are usually the people who will give you advice on how to ruin your relationship. Those of us who “perpetually single” are pretty in tune with what fails because we’ve been through it a lot more.

  • Bc6801

    *should not give advice

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  • A-Nonymous

    I used to be single. But when I was the single friend I always gave my friends advice. I gave them either advice on how to save their relationship and/or what’s best for their relationship. Most couples usually just freak out about every little thing their partner does, and I can admit I do it too. However when you’re single you’re able to see the relationship from the outside and fully analyze both sides. Whilst people who are in relationships are always just like “oh stay together, oh it’ll work out”. No. Give REAL advice.