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About The Importance of Being Able To Pick Up Your Woman

Men, we need to have a discussion about an important topic: The ability to pick up your woman.

I don’t know if any of you guys have given this much thought, but if you never have, now would probably be a good time to start. Here are two facts about women that may or may not be uncomfortable for you to read.

1) Every woman wants a man who can pick her up.
2) If you can’t pick your woman up, she will find someone who can.

Now you probably think this means your woman will leave you for someone who can pick her up. That is not what I’m saying at all. She could very well stay with you, never leave, but she will have another guy who is around, and she calls occasionally just to get picked up, not in a car, but with his bare arms.

People ask me all the time, “What inspired you to get in shape?” If I feel like answering honestly, I tell them vanity and pride. If I feel like getting specific I tell them about how one day I’m going to get married, and my bride-to-be is probably going to have a bachelorette party. At this bachelorette party, one of her fast a** friends is probably going to hire some male strippers. These male strippers will probably have well-defined bodies. At the moment when that high-school dropout decides to take his shirt off, I just want my fiancé to be able to say, “I have that at home.”

The other reason I was inspired to get into shape is because I knew I didn’t want to be one of those guys who can’t pick up their woman. I don’t know if I told my trainer this was one of my fitness goals, but I knew in the back of my mind that it was.

Those who met me know I’m not a small guy. I have good height (6’0 in the mornings), a good weight (between 170-175 lbs, down from an out-of-shape 206), and when I wear clothes that fit, I look neither skinny nor overweight. But here’s the thing about the women I like: Most of them come close to my height, some of them come close to my weight, and yes, on occasion, weigh more than me (I don’t know that for a fact because I’m not an idiot who asks my woman how much she weighs, but I’m good at guessing these sorts of things.)

If the woman I’m dating is not tall, she’s probably short and thick. If a woman I’m dating is not thick, she’s probably tall. When people ask me what type of women I like I can basically say, I like the type of women who like guys that play professional sports.

I don’t play professional sports.

This is an apt description because most women I’ve dated tell me how I’m so much shorter than the last guy they dated, like I care about making history in this way. But I get it and I don’t mind, you know why? Because my size does not denote my strength.

Most women don’t look at me and say, “Jozen looks like he can pick me up.” I’m completely okay with this; it makes it all that much more impressive when I put them over my shoulder and walk them up two flights of stairs just for the hell of it. I’m not the biggest guy in the club, but I’ll be damned if I’m also not the guy who can’t pick up a woman no matter her weight. I don’t look at a woman and think, “How heavy is she?” I think, “How light is she?” I don’t need to date a small woman to pick up a woman. I should be able to pick up every woman I date. Period. And if I can’t, guess what? New workout goal.

Picking up your woman is a rights of passage for all men. I’m sure you take care of all your woman’s needs in the bedroom. Bravo, sir. But if you’re not picking her up, I’m telling you, there’s always going to be another guy in this world who has an advantage over you. Tyra Banks used to date Chris Webber. That guy has more money than me and can do things I can’t do like dunk a basketball. But if I ever got the privilege to get with Tyra Banks guess what I’m going to do with her that Chris Webber might’ve done? That’s right, pick Tyra Banks up like she’s an empty plate.

If you don’t believe women love (and I do mean love) to be picked up, the next time you’re out with your girl walking somewhere in public do the following:

Either pick her up over your shoulder or offer up a piggyback ride. Do this in an area where there are a lot of people out. Whichever method she chooses, walk her at least one block, as you’re doing that look and listen closely to all the bystanders in view. That look you see in other women’s eyes is lust. That sound you hear is other men sucking their teeth and hating on you for being a show off. When you get to the end of the block, put your woman down, make sure you’re not breathing that hard (in through your nose, out through your mouth) and just stare straight ahead, don’t even look at your woman, just feel her eyes on you.

Yesterday, when I was going on a Twitter diatribe about this very topic, a guy hit me and said, “Dude, I’m 5’6, I’m not picking up anyone.” If you’re reading this post dude, do yourself a favor, think positively.

The risk for not being able to pick your woman up is too high to just give up before you even pursue such a goal.

Just because you’re not the size of a football player or your woman is not that much smaller than you, neither of these circumstances should be an excuse. Go to the gym or start working out at home, and don’t worry about the arms, focus on the legs and back, because really that’s what lifting anything is all about, legs and back strength. Get a punching bag, not to punch, but to lift and toss around until it feels like a paperweight. Then, get your woman, and one night, while you two are watching television on the couch in the living room, tell her it’s time for bed. Get up and when she gets up, shock her and just put her over your shoulder to take her to bed. Be prepared for everything that happens after that. Thank me in the morning.

One more time for emphasis, WOMEN WANT A MAN WHO CAN PICK THEM UP. Don’t believe me at your own risk, but come back to this post tomorrow and watch how many women have left comments saying, “Jozen is right.”

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  • Ocean

    Yes, I’m tiny (5’1″) and my whole life everybody has picked me up to “move” me. I asked my husband never to do that. I agree it could be sexy, but for me, never.

  • Ednise

    …and I so agree with you, candace 😉

  • Ray Dimon

    I better start hitting the gym a little bit harder.

  • http://scribblesandtostitos.wordpress.com Yaa Yaa

    Ya know, I never thought this before, but being able to pick up a woman, is uber important. Men, take notes.

  • Missy

    Im pretty short. But Im also pretty thick. Ive been heavier or just about equal in weight to most of the guys I dated. I just assumed a guys couldnt pick me up. I probably wouldnt even let a guy try, for fear that he couldnt, or it would be too difficult. Until my ex. He picked me up like I was a feather, and it was soooooo sexy! He would just grab me and walk me to the room and toss me on the bed! Even if I am “bigger” than my man, its great knowing hes still stronger and can protect me if need be. 

  • Deneike15

    As a full figured woman…. It is my desire to be picked up and man handled…. I had that occur once and it was such a turn on I wanted to take him right there out in public.

  • Dom

    Damn you Jozen! You are RIGHT!

  • J*C*

    Jozen is right again
    maybe why that is why I can’t get that other guy off my mind…he did pick me up lol

  • http://creativeconfusion.org/ Lalanii R. Grant

    Here’s the money paragraph:

    Either pick her up over your shoulder or offer up a piggyback ride. Do
    this in an area where there are a lot of people out. Whichever method
    she chooses, walk her at least one block, as you’re doing that look and
    listen closely to all the bystanders in view. That look you see in other
    women’s eyes is lust.

    Uh yea, this is oh so right. 104 lbs now, size 1, and that was a workout motivation. To be light enough to be picked up easily, ah. Being picked up is such a turn on.

  • Gabrielle

    so, so right!

  • Jessica

    We do love to be picked up. However, the options of piggyback or over the shoulder are crap. I want one arm under my back and the other under my knees being carried in front of you. If you’re going to carry be you do it right!

  • Zahara Ray

    So true! I have a special place in my heart and memory for the men that effortlessly picked me up. I even remember the stranger who picked me up and put me over his shoulder just for ‘fun’. I was annoyed by him at the time yet, 8 years later still remember him.

  • Paige

    I actually hate it. Oops

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  • PapiLovesMe

    Being picked up by my man has always been a lovely experience. I had to let that dream go with my current boyfriend who blew out his shoulder fighting in Iraq. On top of that I have about 75 lbs I need to lose to get to my ideal weight toat least get a piggy back ride.

  • kevin15776

    I have no desire to pick a woman up and throw her over my shoulder. What’s the point?

  • Ruth

    Ok. It’s not actually important that a guy can pick up a girl. Like, if they couldn’t do it, it’s not like I’m going to be disappointed. However. HOWEVER. It is extremely attractive. I think a guy who could pick me up is way hotter than a guy who “looked” hot. Seriously. Damn.

  • Kayla G

    Because it’s hottttttt