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Archive for the ‘Five Things’ Category

Five Things She’s Better At or Just as Good At as Me

March 6th, 2014 1 comment

One of the things I’ve had to adjust to since getting into a relationship is letting go or somewhat deferring things over to my woman. I will be the first to admit, even though I don’t buy into antiquated, dogmatic ideas of gender roles, I do want to be a man for my woman at all times.

But like most men, I have come to realize I have my limits and perhaps the manliest thing I can do is let her handle things when she says she can or is perfectly capable. Here is a short list of awkward moments when I’ve had to let Gina be great.

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Five Basic Things A Man Can Do To Turn A Woman On

March 13th, 2012 9 comments

Guys, I don’t know if you know this but the bar to impress women has been lowered. The bar is so low we don’t even need to walk underneath it anymore. We can hop right over it. I don’t know exactly when this happened nor how it happened, though I do know I can point the blame to my no-good brethren. You guys have not been about a damn thing for so long, you got guys like myself out here looking like Jordan, and I can’t even dunk!

The bad news is, it’s built up a lot of cynism from women. The bar is lowered because frankly, women are tired of holding it up so high and seeing all us guys with our pathetic hops, fall short. So now these women are holding this bar right at their waste with nothing but attitude.

The good news is, there’s hope for us yet. I truly believe because of “Basketball Wives” and “Real Housewives” women who married into their fabulous lifestyle are less desirable than ever. Don’t get me wrong, the modern woman still loves nice things, but they have a more “Sex and The City” I-can-get-it-myself type attitude. Women don’t need men to make them fancy anymore. They don’t even want us to do that sort of thing.

You know what they want?

Basic sh*t.

The bare freakin’ minimum.

Allow this list of five simple things to be your guide, fellas. Trust me when I say, if you do any one of these things or even all five (which is completely doable) the women will be lining up at your doorstep asking YOU out.

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Five Reasons You May Want To Consider Your Single Friend’s Advice

February 22nd, 2012 12 comments

When it comes to giving relationship advice, the question of credibility, who has it and who doesn’t, will eventually come up. Most of us have a core group of friends who we can talk to about anything we’re going through. How we choose which friend to talk to is based on a myriad of factors. Sometimes they already went through exactly the same situation through which we went. Other times, they’re just more comforting than the others, and we know they’ll tell us what we want to hear.

Whatever factors we use to determine who we seek out for advice on relationships is valid, but there is one reason people choose not to go to their friends about a situation and it drives me crazy:

Their friends are single.

Below are five reasons why the next time you’re in need of some relationship advice or some dating directions, your single friend may be the best person to talk to.

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Five Reasons I Want A Woman Who Can Whoop A**

February 9th, 2012 5 comments

So as part of my ongoing efforts to stay in shape, I decided to enroll in some mixed martial arts classes. (Those who don’t know what mixed martials arts is, Google is your friend.) Though a major reason for my enrollment is to challenge myself while picking up a new skill set, I am also doing it to make my lady feel safer.

That’s right. This, like most other things men do, is for the lady in my life. I know MMA does not guarantee I win any and every fight I get into on the street and I’m still all about non-violence. But if my woman sees me undergoing all this training, I imagine she feels a little safer knowing I know how to take a punch, defend a punch, and throw one myself.

As I prepare to undergo training for my benefit and her safety, I had an epiphany. When I began to get in shape, my desire for women doing the same increased. Now as I prepare to learn how to deflect kicks and choke someone out like a master, I realize a woman who knows how to do the same might be . I know this may seem like a strange want, and not a very feminine one at that, but here are five reasons I would appreciate a Laila Ali or Gina Carano in my life.

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Five Things I Have No Business Being Attracted To

October 19th, 2011 10 comments

You ever think about some of the things you’re into and wonder if there is something wrong with you? Like people who can’t stop watching random street fights on YouTube or They should know if they surf one of these two sites to try and watch a good street fight every single day, they are sick. Something is wrong with them and if they’re honest enough with themselves, they at least acknowledge they need help.

When it comes to acknowledging the tendency to like what is out of the ordinary or unusual, I will be the first to raise my hand. The following is a list of things I am attracted to in the opposite sex that are either one of those two things — out of the ordinary, unusual. Understand to some, I know a couple of these are don’t seem like they belong on Planet Strange, but if you knew to what extent these things turned me on, you’d probably say they do.

So here it goes, a small list of things to which I have no business being attracted.

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Five Things They Should Have Never Given To Women

August 3rd, 2011 47 comments

My ex-girlfriend and I lived together for about three months before she finally decided the apartment she moved into, the same apartment I had been living in already for a year by myself, needed some moderate upgrades. With her help, subtle changes were made, like a bathroom rug, a colorful bed spread, and the legendary trash can I have written about in a previous post.

But there was one upgrade she made that was a little too flashy for my taste. She wanted to get a dual-headed detachable shower head. This thing was luxurious, and too extravagant for a bathroom that had off-brand soap and brown bottles of hydrogen peroxide in bulk. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, it was just, my lifestyle didn’t warrant such a flashy item. I thought to myself, If I was a bachelor this shower head would be perfect, but I’m in a relationship? Naw, it’s an unnecessary stunt.

We got it anyway and it stayed with me until we broke up and she took it. Later I asked her what she ended up doing with it and she said she threw it away, which pissed me off. Why do women have the nicest things and use them for the most plain reasons? Had she let me keep the shower head, pleae believe I’d have found multiple purposes for it. This is why I say there are certain things women don’t need to have, not because they can’t use them, but because they don’t know how to use them properly.

Below, a list of five things women have but under utilize

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The Four Things A Man Should Never Have To Buy For Himself

April 5th, 2011 19 comments

When I was in high school, I worked at a restaurant part time. One of my co-workers was this really fly hostess who was a few years my elder. I think she was in like community college or something. In any case, every now and then, she would put me on to the ways of women, what they liked, what they didn’t like.

Much of her lessons have been forgotten, admittedly, but there was one lesson she taught me that has stuck with me forever. It goes as follows:

A woman should never have to buy her own flowers, jewelry, or perfume

I believe her father told her this, and I thought it good and fair advice. My mother also once told me a man should buy his woman flowers at least once a month. This is good advice as well. Over the years, I have also noticed another item or purchase a woman should never have to make on her own: A day at the spa. All men should get their special lady a day at the spa, whether it be for a special occasion or not. So those are the four things a woman should never have to buy for herself, which begs the question: What should a man never have to buy for himself? Even if he has the means to do so, I thought, there should be some items men should receive from others instead of treating themselves.

I’ve thought long and hard about this list and I’m finally ready to share it with everyone else. Feel free to add anything both to the list of things a woman should never have to buy for herself (which I’m sure my woman readers are going to do anyway) and the list of things a man should never have to buy for himself.

Here it is, four things a man should never have to purchase for himself. No further explanations necessary.

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Five Reasons I Want Her To Start Dating Women Too

March 3rd, 2011 12 comments

Whenever a woman says she’s going to start dating women, I’m smart enough to know nine times out of 10 she’s being facetious. I never really take her comment seriously, as though all of a sudden she woke up and started feigning for the same things I feign for.

What she’s really trying to say in so many words is she’s ready to give up on men. She’s tired of me and men like me; tired of dealing with the same BS from my fellow brethren and I. We’re a handful, or a mouthful, or an earful, or awful. No matter the way she slices it, we’re full of it and she’s not taking it anymore. So she says out loud, I’m done with men, time for me to start dating women.

I get it, sort of. I say sort of because I understand how dealing with the opposite sex can be frustrating but, no matter how many times I’ve been frustrated with women, no matter how many times a woman has done something to make me despise her and her kind, I have never once threatened to swear them off for good and start dating other men. That would never happen. First of all, there’s the obvious: I don’t find other men attractive. Second of all I’m too much of a man to know men aren’t any easier to deal with than women.

But women, for whatever reason, seem to think the opposite. I find it pure comedy how women are so much more incapable of being friendly towards other women and yet never understand why a man can’t get along with his woman, which is why I challenge all women who threaten to start dating other women to back those words up Please do it. I’m totally fine with some girls coming over to my side of the world and here are five reasons why.

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Five Reasons You Don’t Need To Follow The Person You’re Dating On Twitter

February 23rd, 2011 17 comments

It took a couple of years before publications and various other media outlets began to understand and talk about Facebook’s impact on everyday relationships. Status updates, photo tagging, profile pictures, and the like now have the potential to make just as loud of a statement as newspaper engagement announcements or being spotted by other people out at dinner once did. Sure we still have our own rules about what to do and what not to do when dating someone else, but we’ve also added more largely due to Facebook.

Twitter still has a long way to go before it starts to affect our relationships the way Facebook has, and it may never be able to.. Twitter as a form of social media is way simpler than Facebook, but just like we have done with nearly every other innovative piece of technology, we the people find a way to make it complicate our lives and attach to it emotionally.

Since I joined Twitter two years ago, I have noticed how it sneakily can have an impact on relationships. If you’re not careful, following the person you’re datingon Twitter can be detrimental. This is not to say you should not follow someone you like or whom you’re dating, but it is to say it’s not nearly as necessary as say being friends with your significant other on Facebook. Today, five reasons why you don’t need to follow the person you’re dating.

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The Five Most Unusual Reactions After We Did ‘It’

February 18th, 2011 16 comments

There’s an art to knowing how to conduct one’s self post coital, and frankly, I’m no Picasso. Usually when I’m done, if I don’t go to sleep, I clean myself up right away and find some shorts or pants to throw on. As a result, this has caused many a women some confusion. They look at me as though I’m telling them to leave, or like I’m going to leave their place. This, as one can imagine, makes things awkward.

But I must say, I know exactly how these women feel. I too have been on the receiving end of some awfully questionable and unusual reactions post-coital. These are five such moments.

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