Every man has different styles in which they approach women they are attracted to. Most men use the same overused pickup lines. I often wonder whether they use the same pickup line out of laziness or just because it’s what has worked for them before. A man will confidently approach a woman with a friendly conversation, offer her a drink, ask to dance with her, and if things go well, hit her with questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” or “Are you single?”
In as much as this question might be well-intended, most women don’t like it. When asking this, things could go south very fast. This question has a very low success rate. If you are one of the guys who use this pickup line, you are probably wondering why I’m so against this but hear me out first.
Inquiring about a woman’s relationship status gives her an easy way out. For example, if she doesn’t like you at first glance, she may shut you down by telling you she is seeing someone. Asking this question might deny you a chance to prove yourself. On the other hand, she might like you, but she is in a relationship; therefore, that question immediately puts her off. Let’s not forget no woman wants to be reminded that she isn’t single. Also, it doesn’t mean just because she’s single; she is available, so asking her might be a turn-off.
Assuming a woman is dating is the best approach, but you shouldn’t let it stop you. It helps you be confident but not aggressive in the sense that if her boyfriend is in the room, you will be in trouble. No one wants to be beaten up by their prospects. If the reasons stated above haven’t convinced you yet and you still might want to confirm her relationship status, ask her friends. It is good to have a buffer.
At any time, in a woman’s life, she has multiple guys giving her attention. Different guys in these teams play different roles in her life. Never assume you’re the only one in the race to win her over unless she says love aloud. Until then, understand you’re in a marathon with equally talented competitors. If you want to win the race, ensure you eliminate the following five competitors from the competition.
The Best Friend Who Won’t Give Up
The only advantage this guy has against you is his persistence. He does more than enough to ground his spot. She will always need him for something, whether it’s for emotional comfort, his advice on things like the college she would go to, and sometimes relationship advice. This guy is always at her beck and call. She could get married to this guy if they didn’t grow up together. However, in a couple of years, that may not matter and they could get married, so watch how he moves. The guy has grasped the art of putting forth enough effort to remain fascinating and amusing but subduing emotional effort for the long-term goal.
The Dad, Uncle Or Grandfather
Very few strong and confident women have a tight relationship with the men in their families. There is undoubtedly no way of getting rid of these men. Your best bet is to be enrolled by her and integrated into the team. You still have to earn your place. Most women vet the guys’ husband material qualities by asking the opinions of men in their life. Family men are the people she grew up admiring, therefore, their opinions matter. Before your meeting with the guys in her family, she’s telling them about you, and they are already evaluating you. Some men are more lenient than others, but they will have an opinion or two about you on some facts. Just hope they don’t discourage your woman from hooking up with you because they can. They may be wrong at times, but very few women are willing to go the hard way and prove that. Remember, these men are people she loves.
The Friend With Benefits
This type of guy is good at only one thing, and he is already ahead of you. He is intimate with her (you know what kind of intimacy I’m talking about). She doesn’t like him for anything else but that and only contacts him when she’s in “need”. She doesn’t do it often (or probably does if he’s the next-door neighbor), maybe when she wants an adventurous night or maybe when she’s drunk. She explores with him. He’s not good at anything else apart from sexually satisfying her. They probably have some arrangement that they can only be friends with benefits, nothing else. Sometimes one of them might acquire feelings eventually, and this could be an advantage for you. Do not lose hope yet. You can also be this person and more. If you got that far it means you got a chance at winning. One night she might decide that she is done with him and call you instead. When this happens, seize the opportunity and sprint to the finish line.
The One That Got Away
Both women and men have had this experience. However, you should not confuse this type of guy with an ex-boyfriend. She never had a relationship with him. This is a guy with whom she had a strong emotional connection, but that’s as far as it went. There are several reasons why they didn’t date an example being physical distance between them. However, they never really gave up on each other. Their connection still exists, so they text each other from time to time from thousands of miles away to know how each is fairing. Remember, she still thinks of what could have been with the guy and might be hopeful of a chance to date him. While you’re trying out, you better hope he does not go looking for a job in her hometown and come back. It could lower your chances of winning her over. Secure emotional connections are hard to overcome.
Women generally have two types of exes. The ones she talks to (they probably ended things on good terms and are friends) and the ones she doesn’t talk to (probably one hurt the other). Whatever the case, these guys will be the most challenging to get ahead of, but this shouldn’t make you give up. Never forget they’re exes for a reason, and this is why you got a chance at winning. They might also be good for something I mean they dated. The main point is that they eventually realized they were not going to end up together. Don’t let her past dictate what you could have with her. Worry about what you should do to win her over and be better for her. Do not try and be better than him just simply be you and she may find your unique personality more attractive.
Even after considering all this, remember that what is meant for you will always be yours. Try your very best to win your woman over, but know when to stop. You still have other goals set to achieve. Most importantly, work on yourself and make sure you are ready for her. Grow your confidence and be the better man she needs. Get her champ!